A Week From Today

By this time next week I may be preparing to meet Eli. I'm so incredibly nervous, and I don't know how I'm going to get through this next week. I feel sick to my stomach, I can't sleep, I can't eat, I just want to know that all will be okay. I hate the unknown. A part of me wants Friday to come quickly, but then a larger part of me doesn't want it to come so I can cherish every last minute I have feeling Eli inside of me. Either way I won't be getting good news on Friday, it will either be time for him to come (and go) or it will be more waiting and not knowing. Sometimes I still think all of this is some horrible dream that I will eventually wake up from, and I wish that were the case. I don't know what to do in the next 7 days, what are you supposed to do? I don't want to wait for my son to pass away, I don't want to go through anymore pain, I just want a healthy son.